Fifty-Two Card Pickup

Posted on Mon Aug 6th, 2018 @ 3:55pm by Captain Akiva ben-Avram & Lieutenant JG Jaya Maera Garlake & Lieutenant Colonel Storr Garlake

3,196 words; about a 16 minute read

Mission: S1E1: Bynars Be Bygones
Location: Memory Theta (Overwatch), Deck 8, Commandant's Quarters
Timeline: MD 013

The bags were deposited with a solid bounce on the master bed, the six seabags threatening to burst at their seams. What should have been a time of joy, celebration, and wedded bliss, however, was not. The air felt like it had been sucked out of the room and as Storr stared blankly at the dark green sacks, he felt the bottom of his stomach threaten to give way. What had he just been a party to in the airlock gangway? True, Laena's revelation that she was staying with them was a shock but her "reunion" with Akiva was gut-wrenching; the Afrikaner saw his friend's heart shatter right before his eyes and his own cracked in sympathy. Garlake prided himself in being a strong man on many levels but running the last few moments over and over in his head made him question if he could have stood as stoically as Akiva did. Stood. That's all the Hebron did. He didn't try to correct his bride, pursue her, or even defend himself. Why didn't he do what could have...should have been done? Why was Akiva so unwilling to fight for his bride? Why...

"Maaifoedie!" Storr grunted, slamming a balled hand onto the nightstand. The lamp rocked for his trouble but the astray shook angrily while his copy of Julius Ceasar flopped to the floor with a *thwup*. Heart rate, up; arterial tension and testosterone production, increased; cortisol, decreased; breathing, quickened...classic signs of anger, for sure, though his reddened face and neck were the usual giveaways. As quickly as the red flame of passion kindled itself and began burning bright, though, he felt a sudden balm envelop his hand and begin radiating up his arm as Jaya's fingers slowly entwining themselves in his fist.

"I take it you're upset." Jaya giggled despite herself at the obvious understatement. It was a serious situation, and serious situations were pitfalls for her beloved. All too easily he could slip into a maelstrom of melancholy that would suck him down to the darkest depths. She gave his thick hand as tight of a squeeze as she could muster, an unspoken invitation to hear him out. Better for him to voice his feelings than brood on them.

"Why did that have to happen? Why didn't he take my advice and fight for Laena? Why were we put in this position? Why did he just STAND THERE?!" Storr growled, breathing through his nose like a racehorse after five laps. In the back of his mind he was surprised as to how fiercely he was reacting on Akiva's behalf but the more he thought about it the more it stoked the flames in his gut. "Her selfishness just broke that man into a million pieces and somehow our example is going to make her change her entire mental framework? Her place is with him, not us, and neither of them can see it, let alone want it to happen!"

Jaya caressed Storr's chest and laid her head upon it, absorbing the overloaded man's excess feelings. She would down-step them so he could process without bottle-necking. Otherwise he would be unable to hear what she said next.

"There are things I cannot reveal from Akiva's past, but suffice it to say that between the two of them, this outcome was almost inevitable. Trauma victims often cannot see from outside the context of their trauma. In that regard, Akiva held the advantage in that Laena uplifted him out of his traumatic symptoms, and so she became a necessary component for his mental state. For a healthy woman, that would be manageable if not ideal or sustainable in the long-term, but Laena is not healthy -- she has survived unspeakable torment and overcome overwhelming odds to be where she is. That survivor mentality is now part of her identity, and Akiva has challenged it. For Laena's part, if she did not do something, then she would have internalized her post-traumatic stress to breed even more of the same, which could eventually lead to physical neurosis. That she is unable to see that she has done to Akiva what she feared he would do to her -- destroy his identity -- is something that will likely never occur to her until her own wounds are healed."

She leaned back and took both of Storr's hands in hers, then looked up at him with her eyes opened wide. It was a gesture could break through his heaviest defenses. "But just because they are not sleeping in the same bed does not mean they need be apart. That is where I come in as a mental health professional, and where we come in as personal friends. We can provide a safe and secure environment to ensure their reconciliation happens on the right footing. Otherwise, their sexual needs might expedite things and lead to a premature reunion on a weak foundation."

Garlake wanted to stay in the rage and funk that he felt but between Jaya's ministrations and seeing the book on the floor and the Bible that now threatened to follow it hanging precariously on the nightstand's edge, he simply breathed a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing his eyes.

"I just...I'm sorry, I love you vrou but I thought that this would have been easier. I just..." he chuckled before continuing, turning and wrapping his beautiful bride in his arms. "I just wanted to get her here, see Akiva, them instantly kiss and makeup, then scuttle off to our room for some...matrimonial joy."

A teasing glint ignited in Jaya's eyes that promised sensual pleasures to come. "Well, just because that first part is on pause doesn't mean the latter needs to be." She slapped a handful on Storr's posterior. "I know it's been a few months. Let's see if you can still keep up."

Storr's eyes smoldered as he met Jaya's eyes with his, drawing her tighter and lifting her off her feet. "Keep up? Darling, you shouldn't make threats that you know aren't..."

Whether by cruel chance or the heinous hand of fate, the door chimed to indicate a visitor.

The Marine took his bride's lips to his and after an intense kiss (which he nearly lost himself to, proving her point), set her back down with a reciprocal backside swat and turned to answer the door. "Enter," he said continuing his walk towards the now-opening entryway. It was not the guest he was anticipating.

"Akiva!" he said, concern exploding from Garlake. Akiva looked like he had been through the wringer and had seen a ghost in the process; gaunt lines creased his brow, sunken eyes made him look as if he hadn't slept in weeks and the hollow stare emanating from them pierced the Commandant's usually stony demeanor. Storr looked over his shoulder to Jaya and simply nodded towards the couch, hoping that she understood to simply sit and wait in support. Turning back to Akiva, he put a quick arm around his shoulders and set him next to Jaya while the Marine took the overstuffed chair opposite the couch and moved it closer.

"I was hoping to talk to you soon but friend...you look like hell. Here, let me get you a drink." Garlake stood and after another quick concerned glance to his wife, moved to the side table and produced three glasses filled with ice and two fingers of Scotch. Placing the three on the coffee table he had moved aside to sit closer to Akiva and Jaya, he passed one to her and then the Hebron before taking the last one himself. "Pleasure," he said somberly before clinking his glass with Akiva and Jaya and taking a long sip.

"I'll just say that Jaya and I care very, very much about you and Laena. Listening, talking, silence...whatever you need, but we're here for you boet"

Jaya held her glass out of solidarity but did not drink. She wanted her mind to be keen and focused.

Despite the clinking of glass, Akiva did not move. He stared at the tempting Scotch in his hand, unmoving and silent. The quivering of his hand made the liquid ripple. His eyes went turgid with emotion, at last enticing him to throw back the entire contents in one gulp.

"Ughhh!" Akiva groaned at the burning in his throat. "I've always hated Scotch. Funny how things change." He threw his head back and stared at the ceiling. "I want to die."

Jaya shot a look of warning to Storr. Her eyes screamed an affirmative.

"I even tried," Akiva went on, continuing to stare at the ceiling. "And I couldn't even do that right."

This was a delicate situation, one that could not be fixed through emotional management and truncation. Jaya could see Storr chomping at the bit. With a deferential nod, she let him take first crack. There was still more observing to be done before she could make her move.

Garlake knew that Akiva would have taken Laena's words hard but wouldn't have thought suicide would have been a response. Regardless, the man was here before him confessing it. Storr's stomach churned at the roiling emotions that even he could feel from his friend.

"Akiva...I don't mean to start with a joke, but I'm glad you're a failure. At least this time." His half-smile disappeared as quickly as it surfaced, his forearms on his knees as he leaned towards the Hebron. "I can't even begin to imagine how you feel or even what to say right now. The thing I know I want to tell you, though, is that your life matters...you are a child of Hashem and he does not take his creations lightly. I would not be the same without you, Laena would not, and your unborn child would have to grow up without a loving, caring, and strong father. You might feel like a failure right now but you have had resounding success in the short time I've known you. Trust me...this galaxy is in a better place right now because of you and I count it an honor to be your friend."

It was the truth. Mostly. He DID have some things that he knew he wanted to say but that could wait a few moments. Akiva was in a fragile place right now and the "kak sandwich" needed bread first. He looked over to Jaya for both affirmation and to let her know that she was free to talk with Commander Avram too. It was her job, after all, and he thanked the good Lord above that she was here with him.

Jaya nodded to Storr. He was doing well. Her focus was almost entirely on Akiva, though, and she couldn't afford to split it for long. For all the man's silence, he was a raging hurricane inside.

The words had come from Storr's mouth and bounced around inside Akiva's head like so many pinballs. Akiva just didn't have the strength to interpret their deeper meaning, at least not consciously.

"I appreciate that, old friend." He had managed to catch Storr's last words. "But I still need to tender my resignation as administrator. I am... I'm not well."

And there was Jaya's cue.

"Forgive me, Akiva, but that is my recommendation to make," Jaya said. It was only partially true -- by her reading of the post orders of her reassignment, her authority only pertained to the field team, having a consultant status only with the rest of the staff. But drastic times called for drastic measures. And by her reckoning, bending the truth a little didn't even qualify as drastic. "And I am not prepared to do so at this time."

Akiva jumped to his feet. "Did you not hear what I said? I tried to end my life!"

"I did," Jaya responded, calm and reassuring. She raised a hand to Storr, hoping to offset his knee-jerk reaction to his wife being yelled at. "And I know that if you were truly resolved to that decision, you would have made a second attempt. That you thought to share it with us instead is a cry for help. And I heard that as well." Reaching for Akiva's hand, she drew him back to his seat. In the tactile contact, she released a soothing pulse that would hopefully slow his fight-or-flight response and prevent subsequent outbursts. "Since you were so brave as to ask for help, then that is what we're going to provide."

She gave Storr another nod to continue. Now that the Good Cop had spoken, it seemed right for the Bad Cop to make an appearance.

Garlake watched as his wife worked her magic with Akiva. She really truly incredible at what she did but he was glad that he was there too...sometimes testosterone is necessary for a situation.

"Akiva...bra...I say this as one man to another...when are you going to show up to your own life?" Garlake paused for only a moment before continuing, mainly to build up his necessary steam. "You came to greet your wife with flowers and yet you let her disrespect you in front of us without a word, let her decide that she would stay not with you but here without a fight, and allowed her to walk away without a sound. You then went to your office and attempted the ultimate absence experience, suicide, only to realize that you don't have the fortitude to even follow through with it! There's a broken woman carrying your child somewhere on this station right now and instead of doing what you want...need to do, you're here with us. I can't imagine the situation you're in but I do remember our talk back on the Vindex...do you? We spoke of created differences, the need to take on headship in your relationship, to help provide her with a safe boundary to live inside. I've seen the Akiva that can lead men, make life-saving or taking decisions, and address political situations that frankly make my head spin so excuse my wonderment that we're here now. You feel too inferior to deserve the relationship you're in which is a kwaai way to lose it which continues to feed your feelings of self-doubt. Buck up, man, and be the man that you are, that I, Jaya, Laena and so many others know you are."

Storr took a breath and let it out forcefully. It was a bold and risky move and also was probably the most he had talked at once in...a very long time; he only hoped that it was enough. Breaking his gaze with Akiva to meet Jaya's for only a moment to signal she was "cleared hot," he looked back at the broken Hebron with great sympathy. Bladdy hell...

"DON'T YOU THINK I'VE TRIED!" Akiva screamed at Storr, though he quickly hid his face in his hands and began to sob. "Everything I do is the wrong move! You want to know why I let her go? Because that was what she said she wanted! Now I'm the bad guy for giving her that? She found out who I really am and now wants no part of it. There's nothing more for me to give. To anyone. And I would have done the... that... except I was interrupted by--"

He froze.

Jaya seized on the pregnant pause. "Interrupted by... something?" The emotional radiance from him keyed into a slightly different sensation. "Oh. By someone. Who else was there, Akiva?"

The Hebron shook his head, tears falling freely from his face, and he didn't care who saw them. Not Storr or Jaya or Laena or Kaz. That smug bastard.

"You're filled near to bursting, Akiva." Jaya slid her hand ever so gently onto his shoulder. The coaxing gesture didn't even require much empathic persuasion. Despite his second outburst, she was actually encouraged by it. Rather than dismissive, it was expressive, and she could work with that. "Let it out. Tell us everything."

Akiva looked like a deer caught in headlights. "When I put the phaser to my head, I was interrupted by a transmission from Bynaus. From..." He couldn't believe he was about to say it aloud. "... from Biynah." He looked at Storr and Jaya with one eye through the fingers laced over his face. "I told you! I'm not well!"

The conflicting torrent of emotions emanating from the man told Jaya that he was telling the truth, or at least believed what he said. She could also tell that he didn't know what to make of his own belief. "One thing at a time," Jaya said, her voice low and understanding. "Our minds cannot process too much at once, or we choke. Now, whether you truly heard from Biynah or if you imagined it as you fear, there is one thing to take away from that moment: you're still here. Either Biynah somehow... survived... what happened, or there is a part of yourself, deep down, that desires to live so strongly that it created an external reason for you to do so." She reached out to him again, this time taking his head in her arms and holding him like a child. "At the end of the day, you chose to live, Akiva. Nobody else did that but you. That tells me, all other things considered, you really are the great man we know you to be."

Jaya's words seeped into his mind, tearing deeper than his conscious reasoning into the forgotten realms of past hurts and failures. Tears came, but only briefly. His sobbing turned dry despite their ragged persistence. He had failed so spectacularly at so many levels, but she was right. If he was still here, then it was for a reason. And if he was going to live, then he would do the only thing he knew how to do. He would fix it.

"Tell me how," he whispered to Jaya. "Tell me what to do."

Storr sat, silently. What could one say in such an emotionally charged moment? As a man, he wanted to fix Akiva's problem. As a friend, he wanted to support him. As a professional, he wanted to counsel him. Right now, though, none of those things mattered...what mattered was that the broken man in front of them was bearing his soul and asking for help. What mattered was that that help had to come from somewhere else that neither he nor Jaya could match. So he continued his silence.

Calm spread over Akiva, and only some of it came from Jaya. Satisfied that he had attained at least some measure of peace, she withdrew her embrace and snaked her hand back through Storr's. "I can't tell you that, Akiva. But I know you'll figure it out. We're here for you. And for Laena."

"Anytime and everytime, friend." Garlake echoed, squeezing Jaya's hand and clasping Akiva's shoulder. A friend in need is a friend indeed...

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