Welcome to the Phantom Zone, Bad Guys
Posted on Thu Dec 7th, 2017 @ 7:05am by Captain Mrazak & Ferrofax & Rear Admiral Aerilyn Nyel
2,121 words; about a 11 minute read
Mission:
S1E1: Bynars Be Bygones
Location: Memory Theta Administrator's Office
Timeline: MD 1
Mrazak sat back in the office chair, his feet crossed on the desk, with a dopey grin on his face. After many years of service, with many administrators, lead researchers, and other senior personnel coming and going, he had finally risen to the top. With the departure of the most recent administrator due to being diagnosed as psychologically compromised, Mrazak was the last man standing with any tenure to speak of. There had been few times when he had held down the fort, but never without anyone to answer to. That ancient creature Eigthe didn't count, as it was a civilian. A career in Starfleet had been difficult and thankless for the Vulcan Without Logic, but it finally started paying off.
"Crystal, crystal in my hand, am I not the greatest in all the land?" Mrazak vigorously shook the black dodecahedron between his palms like a child would a toy. A few sleepy, soft points of light awakened from its core before dwindling away again. "I'll take that as an affirmative."
The Ball of Fate, as he had come to call it, was an ancient quantum cell that once powered the capitol world of a lost civilization. It held a long since collapsed singularity, and would therefore power next to nothing. Should he depolarize it, the residual tau of chroniton particle reactivity would be more than enough to plummet the facility into an instaneous subatomic emplosion. A suitable fail-safe in the unlikely event that Memory Theta ever became compromised.
Without any imminent threat to the facility, Mrazak found it had a useful secondary application: that of a Magic 8 Ball. He kept one of those as a souvenir from his time on Earth, but it just didn't quite have the same satisfaction as the artifact in hand. And why shouldn't he feel satisfied? As king of the mountain with his vault full of treasures, Mrazak reckoned life could get no better than it was at that moment.
The display monitor chimed with an incoming transmission. Admiralty's flashing logo had replaced the generic Starfleet emblem, marking it as a priority one message. Mrazak put his feet down before he answered it.
"Greetings, Admiral Nyel." Mrazak recognized the woman from past transmissions. "I was expecting to hear from one admiral or another." He was smug for a Vulcan, though not overly so for a V'tosh Ka'tur. Congratulations were in order, no doubt, and that could bring out the pomp in anyone.
If Resting Bitch Face could be personified, Rear Admiral Aerilyn Nyel would be that personification. "I had a feeling you would be in my office," she said, her voice drenched in annoyance and disdain. "The Nagini will be docking at Memory Theta within the hour. You will meet me at the docking port, we have much to discuss." The viewscreen went blank and was soon replaced by the emblem of the Starfleet Admiralty.
Mrazak sniffed in annoyance and absently threw the Ball of Fate over his shoulder. Sudden realization of what he had just done made his eyes shoot wide open. "Yontau pekh!" He lurched out of his chair and dove to catch the quantum cell before it smashed against the floor.
"Ferrofax, kindly delete any visual record of whatever you may have just witnessed and get ready to roll out the red carpet. We have an incoming Admiral to greet."
"Very well," Ferrofax's disembodied voice said dryly from the air. "Should I have Janeway or Picard stop by to polish the dodecahedron? Given the disastrous turn of events that lead to Ensign Wylde's spaghettification last time..."
"Maybe keep the Borg drones in their alcoves just this once."
"If you insist. Though I would point out Nyel would make an exquisite addition to my collection, many hands making light the work of empires," Ferrofax joked.
At least...better not think to much on that thought.
An hour came and went with the Nagini arriving right on schedule. Mrazak was customarily late, though the Admiral would never know it. He appeared at the docking port as ordered.
"Admiral, welcome to Memory Theta," Mrazak said with a Vulcan monotone. "We hope your stay will be a pleasant one."
"No need to be a pander, Lieutenant," Aerilyn said as she strolled past the Vulcan. "And stop pretending to be pleased to see me." Two yeoman followed after the woman with their heads slightly bent, not saying a word. "I'm sure you've heard about Commander Du'haverik. He will not be returning to Memory Theta."
Mrazak pretended to be sorry at the news. "Pity," he said with a straight face that belied the bouncing of his heels. His hands folded behind his back. "Fortunately, I have been holding down the fort. And not for the first time, I might add, with no industrial accidents on record."
Aerilyn stopped and turned to the man, "And you think my memory of these events is somehow impaired?" she asked, with raised eyebrow.
"Goodness, no." Mrazak threw his head back and chuckled, dismissing the admiral's misunderstanding with a wave of his hands. "Now that you mention pairs, however, wouldn't you agree that you and I make a splendid one? Perhaps we should make this interim arrangement a more permanent one." He held up a silencing finger to his lips. "Don't say anything now. Take your time touring the facility, interview the staff, assess the operations--and then perhaps we can revisit the matter over the last drops of the Saurian brandy bottle stowed in the bottom drawer of the administrator's desk?"
"Presumptive as well," she said as she turned and kept walking. "So far, all I see are negative qualities to you. You clearly have no backbone and you think kissing my ass is going to get you ahead." She paused for a moment, but kept walking, "No, you will not be the new Administrator. Leadership skills are something that you obviously lack in any significant fashion. Starfleet JAG is taking greater oversight over Memory Theta, so they will be naming a new Administrator. Starfleet Command has agreed to give it to them along with a few other changes they requested."
Mrazak's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "Are you shi--er, sure that is the best course of action? We need JAG oversight like we need a reactor meltdown." He put himself in front of her. "I can do this, Aerilyn. Trust me."
A tell-tale holographic flicker passed through Mrazak's body. He tapped his head a few times, then wholly disappeared.
With a sigh and a roll of her eyes, Aerilyn kept walking and soon arrived at her office. When she arrived, she found Mrazak with his feet on her desk fighting with a partially disassembled headset in his hands.
"Ferrofax, the problem must be on your end because this--"
Mrazak finally saw Aerilyn's ingress. "Admiral... I can explain!"
The woman stood there, her lips pursed in obvious disappointment as she awaited this explanation.
"As I was saying before the interruption," Mrazak continued, then flinched at Aerilyn's expression. "Very well, let me sum up: I had urgent business here and I had thought to multi-task via the facility's ubiquitous holoemitter network. That is how dedicated I am to the successful fulfillment of this facility's mandate, Admiral. I am your man." He clapped his hands and offered the admiral a hopeful smile.
"Save it." Aerilyn moved around her desk, shooing the man away as she took a seat behind it. "You are a valuable part of Memory Theta, but you lack the discipline to be a leader. You have no sense of decorum and no respect for those in power over you. Your actions with me today are proof of that."
Mrazak gave Aerilyn his best Vulcan scowl: contempt without disdain, condescension without insult. "So who is it this time? Another member of Bolian nobility playing at military politics? Another Vulcan musician-turned-researcher? Perhaps another tenured instructor from the Academy? For whom are you passing me over this time, Admiral Nyel?"
"We actually..." Aerilyn picked up a PADD. "We don't have a candidate yet. So until we do, you will be interim Administrator."
"But I already am!" Mrazak protested. "Let me prove myself against the Not-Mrazak candidate. We just had another Theta alert come in today--Bynaus, if I recall--wherein I can prove my mettle as both leader of the field team and administrator of this facility. If I resolve this situation by the numbers, will you promise to reconsider my permanence?" He remembered himself and stood at respectful attention. ".... ma'am."
"Ah yes, your little team. You and those two scientists who stow away on ships collecting artifacts." The woman set the PADD down, "Those days are over." Placing a few fingers on the PADD, she slid the device across her desk towards the man.
Mrazak perused the PADD, moving his lips in a silent flurry as he read its contents, and then grinned widely. "It's finally ready? But I thought it would take another six months... no matter. With the Phantom at my command, Admiral, I will have this case and the permanent position well in hand."
"I promised you nothing, you sniveling weasel of a man," Aerilyn said, leaning forward to snatch the PADD back from the man. "The Phantom is not your plaything, it is to be used for official business only. And we will be filling our your little field team to be more robust." The woman sat back, "The truth is, your reputation has been a laughingstock and an absolute embarrassment. You're ineffective and JAG is not going to have any of that anymore."
Taking a box out of the side drawer, the woman set it down in front of the man. "You're being promoted to Commander under a probationary period. With the field team being expanded we felt the extra rank was necessary. But it is contingent upon good performance. We wouldn't want any incidents like on Trelsk III."
Mrazak bristled against her words, though he knew better than to argue. His record spoke for itself and needed no defense. He had been here since nearly the beginning and worked his way up. Memory Theta's success was his own. And ever shall it be. "Yes, ma'am. Probationary promotion. JAG oversight. Dead weight on the Phantom. Have we forgotten anything?"
"Your new team members will be trickling in over the next week. Make them feel at home and part of the team."
"Says here most of them will be arriving on the Phantom itself," Mrazak noted. "I suppose that's enough for us to conduct a field mission. No need to wait for everyone."
"This is true," the Admiral said. "There are a few positions that haven't been filled just yet, though. They will arrive in due time."
Mrazak set the PADD down on the desk. "Can I at least have some input on the next administrator? I think you owe much that much, Admiral."
"I owe you nothing," the woman replied, her eyes not leaving the PADD she was currently reading. "Also, I would like for Colonel Garlake to accompany you on your first mission with the Phantom. Think of him as your probationary board."
"B-b-but... who will protect this facility?" Mrazak stammered. "Colonel Garlic is surely better utilized here than out--"
"My decision is final." Aerilyn stood, placing the PADD down on her desk with a thud. "My ship will be leaving soon. Don't forget what I said, JAG expects no incidents."
Mrazak dipped his head with forced respect. "Yes, Admiral."
He let himself out of her office with no further word.
"Ferrofax," he said without tapping his commbadge. "Roll up the red carpet. The admiral is no longer welcome."
"I got that impression from how you won her over with your charm and grace," Ferrofax said as a cup of the beverage of choice appeared on Mrazak's desk. "But look at it like this: the life expectancy of Theta level Administrators is something I can plot out on a logarithmic scale. In a month, two months at most, you can try again. In the spirit of that venture, I have assigned elements of your personal accounts to subscribe you to a leadership course run over subspace. Daily mantras, minor assignment work, and grading criteria that seems...fair. Its even Grand Nagus approved, apparently. Then again he's written the framework. 'Roms 158 Rules Of Success'."
The side of the cup read: Number 1 Tool.
Mrazak sipped from his cup and mulled over what the admiral had said. He didn't get far before he saw the outline of a Defiant-class vessel come around a distant plasma storm. Vulcan mocha spewed out of his mouth.
"She's here!"
Mrazak didn't want to the docking port. He ran.
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