Deep Longing and Regret

Posted on Thu May 21st, 2020 @ 8:35pm by Warrant Officer Laena ben-Avram

Mission: S1E4: The Hills Have Eyes
Location: Starfleet Academy - Earth

The cool evening breeze swept over the bay, sending Laena's hair whisping in the wind as she walked across the quad. She'd had a wonderful day, as she always did when she saw Apaxi. A person who used to be close, romantically, had become such a good friend. She found the new relationship with him to be easy, comfortable, unlike other relationships in her life. Laena’s mind began to drift to the past as she made her way back to the dorm.

It didn’t take long for her to arrive. Kicking off her shoes and crawling into bed, her eyes fixed on the framed photo she had of her and Akiva on her nightstand. She grabbed it, holding it close to her chest as she smiled. Her thumb gently grazed the glass over his face, a face she was longing to see more than she anticipated. And as her eyes welled with tears, her other hand instinctively crawled over her stomach and held it.

She let out a breath, not realizing she’d been holding it for so long. She reminisced about the time aboard the Vindex, when life was so easy and full of adventure and opportunities. It seemed like so long ago. She wondered if she’d ever get that feeling back.

Laena looked at the picture again. “Computer, begin message to Akiva ben-Avram, Commanding Officer, Memory Theta.” The Computer chirped in compliance and awaited the message. This wasn’t her first attempt at this message. Not her second, nor her third. She had tried to send this message at least once a week since coming to the Academy. But as always, the words wouldn’t come out. What would she say? How would he receive it? Is it possible they could heal? That she could heal?

She sighed, rolling onto her side as she held the photo closer. “Computer, belay that.” The system chimed in response.

And as she did most nights since coming to Earth, Laena buried her face in her pillow and cried herself to sleep.