Choices

Posted on Tue Dec 11th, 2018 @ 3:41am by Warrant Officer Laena ben-Avram & Lieutenant JG Jaya Maera Garlake

1,057 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Season 1 Interlude I (E2.5)
Location: Commandant's Quarters | Overwatch Station Deck 3
Timeline: Morning after "'Cause Tonight I'm Loving You"

Laena stepped through the doors of her quarters, though the term "her quarters" was very loose. Truth is, she was still staying with Lieutenant and Colonel Garlake in their guest room, which was very kind of them to allow her to do. Though she still worried she was intruding on their personal lives. But with the issues between her and Akiva, Jaya had been so sweet to offer.

She tried to sneak through the large family room towards her bedroom, but the light from a lamp gave her away. She looked over to see Jaya sitting in a large chair, curled up with a PADD in her lap.

"Hello," Laena said, taking a few steps towards the woman.

Jaya smiled as much to herself as at Laena. "Hello yourself, lady." She tucked her PADD away and settled herself in for a friendly inspection. "You're looking chipper. Almost too chipper for a walk of shame." Her smile widened into a sidelong look. "I take it dinner went well."

Laena blushed. "It went...quite well," she said, though she was finding it hard to hide the smile that was spreading over her face. Without waiting for an invitation, Laena walked around the table and sat in another seat to face Jaya. "It was amazing," she said.

The waves of excitement and joy rolling off of Laena made it all but impossible for Jaya to resist mirroring her smile. "Yes, yes, I can see that." She tucked her feet under her and planted her chin in her hand, readying herself for a long sit. "Tell me everything!"

"Well..." Laena leaned on the sofa arm, pulling her legs into the seat with her. "He made me dinner and it was absolutely delicious. There was this soup, creamy and delectable with some strangely-named animal meat in it, fresh bread he baked from scratch. It was..." Laena smiled, sweetly. "It was thoughtful and caring. And he converted one of his rooms into a nursery, complete with a hand-made crib he built."

Jaya made a light squeal and clapped her hands in rapid jubilation. "Oh, Laena! No wonder you succumbed to his advances." The way her hands folded against her chest and smiled broadly, one would think they were discussing the exchanging of compliments. For all her professionalism, Jaya remained a Deltan. "So do you have plans for later?"

Laena just shook her head, her smile softening just a bit.

"Probably for the best." Jaya nodded, resuming her clinical disposition. "For it to last, it's best to take all the time you need. And for him, considering the consequences."

"Consequences?" Laena asked, a bit confused.

"Consequences," Jaya repeated. The uncertainty rolling off the other woman was sincere enough. Jaya knew she had to choose her words carefully. "With his home. His people." She took a breath and started over. "Do you know much of Hebron Colony? In-depth records aren't easy to come by."

Laena shook her head, a bit sadly. "He doesn't like to talk about that much," she said. "Which is fine as I don't usually tell him about my past either."

"No, I don't mean his past, Laena." Jaya gently shook her head. "I mean his future." Taking a breath to consider her words, Jaya offered a smile. "I'm not at liberty to share much of what he and I have discussed, but I can tell you that there was a price to loving you. Hebron Colony does not accept many new residents. In fact, due to the complex social and legal strictures of the Colony, many natives who go abroad do not return. Akiva is now one of them." She reached for Laena's hand, exuding empathic reassurance against surprise emotions like anger and fear. It was a subtle art, but Jaya wanted to help Laena process the information apart from an emotional response. "His past haunts him, to be sure, but it was home. And he traded it for you. If not for that sacrifice, I would have encouraged you both to part ways, baby or no baby. But it's not every day that a man literally gives up his entire world for a woman, is it?"

"I didn't ask him to do that, nor would I have expected him to," she said softly, her eyes looking down at Jaya's hand.

Jaya squeezed her hand again reassuringly. "Obviously he thinks you're worth it. That he hasn't rubbed it in is actually rather interesting. Perhaps he just assumed you knew? That would be just like a man." The Deltan bobbed her neck playfully. "His past behavior of pressuring you to move beyond your boundaries was likely as much a result of running from his cultural background as it was honoring it. That was unfair to you, because he cannot simply ask someone else to tell him who he is or let his worth be defined by another. But on the other hand, if you choose to go forward with Akiva, you need to be well aware of what he's prepared to invest in you. Whether or not you asked for it, it was still his choice to make, and it's now part of the dynamic of your relationship."

With that said, Jaya shifted her weight back, hoping to mitigate the onus-laden feeling from her next words. "Conversely, Laena, you should consider what you're willing to trade for a life with Akiva. Not that you must trade anything, but if you have already chosen what you will and will not let go if it means being with him, then you will be prepared if and when you come to be faced with it. And, like Akiva's choice, nobody can make it for you. If your list comes up short, then at least you know how you really feel."

Laena just nodded in response. That was a lot of information to process, and to be honest, she was not in the headspace to process it right now. She loved Akiva, that much she knew. But the rest of it... "I need time to think," she said, her voice sounding distant and hollow as she stood up. Without another word, she walked across the room and into the door that led to her temporary room.

That went as well as could be expected. Jaya smiled for a moment before returning to her reading.

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