Cards on the Table

Posted on Wed Nov 2nd, 2022 @ 8:08pm by Captain Akiva ben-Avram & Warrant Officer Laena ben-Avram

3,199 words; about a 16 minute read

Mission: Season 1 Interlude II (E5.5)
Location: Shuttle Two | Tartarus orbit
Timeline: ID 2

The morning greeted Laena with a blinking dot on her personal PADD. It was a message from Akiva which read: Shuttle Bay. 0720.

Waking up back in her old bed was...interesting. That was the best word Laena could conjure at this moment. Akiva did as he said he would; brought her back to Memory Theta, given her her old position back in Stellar Cartography and even provided her own accommodations. What she wasn't expecting was for him to give her their old quarters as he moved to a different set. It was strange for a lowly Cadet to be sleeping in the Captain's quarters, but this was exactly the gesture she should have expected from Akiva. Despite their ups and downs, and the precarious position their relationship currently held, he was generous and kind. And for that she was very thankful.

"Computer, lights, 40%," she stated as she roused herself from bed. She was not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination, and Akiva knew that. So why he wanted to start a vacation so early in the morning was unknown. But he tended to be an early riser so it made sense. This time off was exactly what they needed and she had packed for multiple scenarios between them. But she was determined to make it through the storm. She forced a smile, trying to hide the nerves within her. The man she loved was waiting for her and there was much to discuss. She brushed her teeth and freshened up before turning to leave her quarters, bags in hand.

It was the day before their departure for Risa. Everyone was abuzz, whether due to excitement over shore leave on the Federation's premiere pleasure planet or dread over the pressure of such an environment. For Akiva, well, he had matters of the heart to discuss. To say his relationship with Laena was complicated would be an understatement. Had they been given a reasonable amount of time, they could have landed on solid ground and worked through some issues like normal people. But the cruel hand of fate had other ideas. Akiva had already prepped the shuttle which was standing by and ready to be boarded. He smiled at Laena, but he was visibly troubled from his furrowed brow to his slightly hunched shoulders and clenched hands.

"Good morning..." he said. "Our flight plan is ready... we're going to take a look at that plasma storm you charted months ago. It's gotten closer. I thought a hands-on survey would be useful." He gave her a sidelong glance that asked her to go along with what was an unexpected and likely transparent suggestion.

While a change to plans wasn't exactly something Laena enjoyed, the prospects of seeing this storm up close was exciting. A genuine smile spread over her face, replacing the nervous one she had before. But the moment faltered as memories flashed in her mind of that day. Her hand went to her stomach as she forced the smile to stay in place. She didn't want him to know what she was thinking in this moment, she only wanted him to see the joy his gesture had brought to her. "I would love that," she said as she placed her bags down next to the shuttle's ramp. She leaned in and gave the man a kiss on the cheek.

"Good..." The kiss on his cheek began to thaw Akiva's glacial expression, though it also ignited the tension suppressed deep within. He took up her bags and escorted her into the shuttle.

While the time it took to travel the 5 AUs from Overwatch Station to the eye of the storm between its largest burning flares was a short time, the silence was almost an eternity. At last the shuttle came to a stop, at which point Akiva powered down the engines and deactivated all systems--including life support. Nothing but emergency lighting pushed the darkness back, as even the view screen went black.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I wanted to meet you here instead of either of our quarters," Akiva began. "To put it simply, I can't be sure anywhere on the station is safe. Maybe we can trust our private encryption protocols and maybe we can't. For what I have to tell you, and to ensure you still retain all options after I tell you... well, it required drastic measures." He took a deep breath and added, "If you don't want to know, then this is your chance to say so."

Laena looked at Akiva with confusion in her eyes. She honestly had thought that this was supposed to be a relaxing and perhaps romantic moment for them. But of course work never ceased for Akiva. "Tell me what's going on," she said.

"I don't know where to begin..." Akiva said. "I'd just start at the beginning but I don't even know where that is." He took a deep breath to stall for time. Was this the best thing to be doing? He had promised the others not to tell anyone without approval from the group, but Laena was not just anyone. What they had gone through together made her part of him, no matter how she might feel about their situation. She was already at risk for being connected to him. Shouldn't she know what potentially prowled in the dark? "So, after we returned to Overwatch, I was made aware of something. Something terrible." He had avoided direct eye contact as he searched for words, but now his eyes met hers in search of strength and connection. "You know the Borg drones that Ferrofax has wandering around the station doing odd tasks for him? One of them was identified."

Akiva dry-swallowed the lump in his throat. "Let me back up. There was a secret project that Ari...Commander Frost has worked under. Its mission was to root out traitors to Starfleet who had come to work for the Black Nagus criminal organization. She identified the Borg drone as a traitor she had... had killed." That was an understatement which Akiva suddenly felt the need to clarify. "Well, not kill. He was captured and interrogated, and the operation's commander ordered him executed by cruel measures. She gave the man a swift death instead. But that's not even the worst part. Lieutenant Teejay, the new forensic specialist to the field team, identified the drone as his brother. I can't help but think the influx of Borg drones are not truly Borg, but were assimilated by Ar--Commander Frost's superior instead of imprisoned as per Federation law." He was doing his best to keep his emotions under control, but anger was beginning to surpass all else. "A group of us has formed to combat these atrocities. I will not allow this place to become a charnel house for evil men in positions of power who think they are invisible and untouchable. But we have to be careful..."

Looking around at the depowered shuttle, he said, "Which is why I took extreme measures just to tell you all of this without putting you at greater risk. I am done making choices for you, though. If you want to stay, your life will be at risk along with the rest of us. If you want to go..." Why did life have to be so hard? "I will understand. The others will resent that I have shared this with you as I have. But we--you and I--have agreed to be truthful no matter what, so I owe you that."

Laena's confusion grew even further. "What does Teejay's brother have to do with the Black Nagus? How is it possible for a Starfleet officer to assimilate drones?" Questions swirled in her head, only just a few pouring from her lips, as the information packed into her brain tightly. She stopped, looking at Akiva directly in the eyes as she gently took his hands in hers. "Thank you for being honest with me, Akiva," she said. She slid forward in her seat as she gave him a light peck on the lips. "And thank you for allowing me to be a part of this decision. But I meant what I said to you back on Deep Space Nine. I'm in this with you. And I'll do anything I need to make this work. And I refuse to allow danger to separate us."

She smiled sweetly. "Despite what you might think, I'm not delicate or frail. If there's danger that looms over you, then it looms over me as well. And we will take it on together, neshome mayne."

As she talked, Akiva just sat there, blinking and processing. Laena had questions, which was expected, but then she set aside her questions and any doubts that accompanied them as quickly as they'd formed. She thanked him. Kissed him. Infused him with courage. And spoke Yiddish? Akiva started laughing. There were Yiddish clans on Hebron Colony, but they were a minority among the original Haredi colonists and remained so to this day. It was endearing that she had made such an effort to connect to him. However, it underscored the other elephant in the room that he had so far ignored.

"I have neglected you since our arrival," Akiva said. "And this ghastly business is not the only reason. It has just been the most pressing which demanded my attention as a Starfleet officer. The other reason... has to do with me as a Hebron. You do not have to become as me, though our children..." He stopped suddenly, realizing the depths of grief and pain that he had just tapped into. Not only had they lost their baby, but due to his actions, he may have cost them all future children in the eyes of his faith. "Our children would be Hebron, like me, by birthright. Except..." He closed his eyes and started to weep. "I set you aside. The reason for the program I sent you rather than a live conversation was because it represented a writ of divorce that would set you free from all obligation to me. And... and, according to the laws of my people, it is permanent." There was more to say, but the finality of that statement gave Akiva pause. "Unless... unless I can work out some kind of precedent or exception, our children would be illegitimate and cut off from the Chosen People because... because I foolishly made you na’aph... an adulteress."

Her eyebrows furrowed as he explained. "I don't understand...though that seems to be quite the theme for today," she said. "You're telling me that you were able to 'marry' me and then 'divorce' me all without my knowledge or consent and now suddenly I'm an adultress? Especially when the only man I've been with since I met you has been you." She shook her head. "I need an explanation. Because it sounds like you're forcing me to conform to your culture without knowing what it is."

"That's just it," Akiva said as he wiped his eyes dry. "I acted foolishly. If I remain with you, then it would be in adultery against myself. How to explain?" His eyes darted around in thought. "Our Torah requires the witness of two in order to establish a fact. If a husband dies remotely and his wife is the only witness, then she cannot be declared a widow for lack of another witness. Were she to remarry, then she would be na'aph and any children she bore to her new husband illegitimate. When I set you aside, I had to make it permanent in order not to condemn you as an adulteress... but in the end I did it anyway because..." Akiva closed his eyes again. He knew how stupid all of this must sound to someone raised outside of it, but it was all he had left of home. "When we were intimate on Deep Space 9, I realized in light of the writ of divorce that I previously sent you, it was legally an act of adultery." His voice wavered as his eyes began to moisten again. "I have made you the very thing of which I accused you and I don't know how to fix it."

"But then you've just contradicted yourself," Laena said, trying to piece together the information she was getting. "We were never joined in any way that had witnesses. Not in any sort of marital aspect. So by that logic, we were never married. And unless you had witnesses when you sent me that automated message, doesn't sound like that is concrete either."

Akiva shook his head. "Our baby miscarried on this very station. I was the recorded father. Documentation exists of our union. And even if there was not, the holy commands are bound to my hand and forehead. If I say I did not do what I did, then I am a false witness. I cannot live a lie, Laena. I will not doom any of my flesh and house to that." He sighed. "My mind is not clear and it has been many years since my father expelled me from rabbinical study. There must be a way to fix what I did, and, HaShem willing, I will find it." But there were doubts in his heart. What if HaShem was punishing him? Laena was not of his people. If he resisted the will of HaShem, then what was the point of the rest of his heritage? He might as well throw it all away in that event, which was a bridge too far. "If you do not want to take that journey, then I will not shame you. I've done enough of that."

"There is no shame upon me in my eyes, and my opinion is the only one that matters," Laena simply stated. "If you wish to look upon me with shame, that will be your burden."

"I have shamed you," Akiva said. "I... I took you for pleasure when I should not have. It was not just pleasure of flesh but heart and soul, but it was selfish." He winced at the confession and turned his face away. "I am sorry."

"Your culture sounds very mysogyistic," Laena stated. "You didn't take anything. I gave myself freely to you. And for you to state otherwise is condescending."

"I will not argue semantics," Akiva said, his tone turning stern. "I took what you offered but I was not right to do so. That is the problem whether or not you understand or respect it."

"Your whole culture is semantics, Akiva," she said, standing as she stepped away. She leaned against the bulkhead, her gaze moving to the plasma storm outside the shuttle window. What a perfect metaphor for their entire relationship. "You're asking me to accept labels that I had no part in creating, nor a choice in. You're asking me..." She stopped, looking at him. "Actually, at this point, I don't even know what you're asking me. You can't even make up your damn mind about what we are or where we're going. What am I to you, Akiva?" She stepped forward. "What do you want me to be, to you?"

His culture is semantics? Akiva wanted to be angry, but he was too guilt-ridden to summon the fire. All she knew was life as a slave and life as a Starfleet officer. Neither of those experiences could give positive representation to what he was explaining... even if he had not transgressed her. "You are someone I will always care for," Akiva said. "Someone I will always love. I can say that without shame. But what comes after that? It's still a house with a foundation that needs repair from the damage done to it."

Laena rolled her eyes. "I was hoping you could tell me something you wouldn't tell a mother or sister. Because if that's all I am to you, Akiva, then what exactly are we trying to save?" She looked at him, the hurt in her eyes pleading for him to say something, anything, to give her hope.

"You were my intended," Akiva said, his voice cracking with emotion. "And you left me. I did not understand. I threw it away. I threw us away. I'm sorry that now you are the one who doesn't understand..." He sniffed back his emotions. "I don't want to wrong you..."

"Tell me, Akiva." Laena's stance was firm. "I'm not asking for anything that you cannot give me. But I need to know. Is there a future to work towards? That's all I want to know. If I come back to Memory Theta, if I put in the work towards this relationship, is there a future for us?"

"If HaShem is good," Akiva whispered, "and I must believe he is, then there must be a way to redeem what has been lost. If you don't want to walk that path, then I will not resent you. But I must restore the honor of our union."

Laena stepped towards the man, kneeling down to his eye level as he sat in the chair. "I wish to walk that path with you," she said. "I will do whatever it takes to restore us to what we were, to what we had. But you must promise to not exclude me from this journey. I will be there for every step taken."

"That's why I told you about the great danger we're facing," Akiva said, his face grave and eyes intense. "I will not keep anything from you, Laena."

She curled her legs into lotus position on the floor as she leaned her head on the man's knee. "Tell me."

"Well, I don't know just yet," Akiva said. "That's the thing. I am going to find out who is abusing nanotechnology and assimilating people only to dump them on my station. These are evil, dangerous people, Laena, and once they know we are onto them, there is no telling what they may do."

"Then we'll have to be diligent and on alert," she responded. "There are many people who would want to gain access to Memory Theta and what we have in the Vault. Wouldn't it just be easier to neutralize all the drones?"

Akiva shrugged. "We could but the drones aren't really the problem. It's whoever is making them. I can't access the inventory files for some of them--where they came from, when they arrived, who signed for them. It's like they are ghosts in the system." His face tinged red with anger. "Something terrible is going on and I am being used to cover it up. I have a team being put together to combat it. If you remain here, then you are part of it."

Laena took his hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. "We'll figure it out together."

"Thank you." Akiva smiled at her for the first time. "For understanding and being brave."

"Don't let yourself be fooled, Akiva," she responded. "I'm not a delicate flower," she said with a wink.

"I am quite familiar with your thorns," Akiva teased back.

END

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