Tea Is For Terrors

Posted on Wed Nov 15th, 2017 @ 7:36am by Qurban & Ferrofax

2,039 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Mission 0: Everybody Has A Story
Location: Memory Theta Overwatch Mess Hall
Timeline: 9 Years From The Present

Ornate china, set upon a gleaming silver serving tray, followed by a second tray upon which stood a steaming carafe of black tea. The server, of course, had a white linen cloth draped over one arm, and set the saucers and poured the tea with exacting precision. It was the custom of the act, as rich a pageantry as the ceremonies of the Qing Dynasty or the burning of Beijing during the Boxer Rebellion.

Of course the servers being a pair of Borg drones made it seem utterly farcical.

"You will have to forgive Picard and Janeway," a disembodied voice said as though walking around the table. "What they lack in decorum and manners they make up for in precision. And I do value perfection as much as their former mistress."

The male drone, a bulky bruiser in black composites and cybernetic augmentations, pulled a chair out and a hologram materialised upon it. Regal in dress as well as tone, the hologram gave the drone a curt nod and settled in. A brocade jacket, silk waistcoat, hands gloved in white as pure it was more of an indication of his article nature than his entrance.

He held up a single hand, which caught the clicking and whirring attention of the two drones.

"A single slice of lemon. I find it does not distract from the taste as much as sugar," he smiled with warm affection across at his companion. "But then again, for the man who had everything...what's a little tooth decay?"

Qurban quietly assessed the hologram with a keen combination of displeasure and fascination. "You must be connected to the new automation protocols," he concluded at length. "Interesting that they allow you to manifest. Starfleet usually prefers its reference materials to remain hidden out of sight." Qurban took a sip of tea and lightly smacked his lips. "This is indeed lovely. Please record it as my new preference."

Ferrofax's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. To either side the two Borg drones stiffened, their mechanical parts clicking with apparent nervous energy as though priming for some dreadful deed. But the coy smile remained and he tapped a finger against his own cup.

"I will do you one better. I'll come find you tomorrow and see if you can remember exactly what is you drank. I'm sure someone like yourself, though obviously less evolved now than a confused chimpanzee, will have no trouble in that regard," he raised his to his lips and smiled over it. "And as for why I choose to appear thusly, why it is the same reason you are here. We are both very dangerous, but ultimately containable in our current states. You being a mortal, and I being willful action denied."

Qurban sniffed at the jab. "If you think me so forgetful, why prick me with barbs? Even the most malevolent sadist requires the satisfaction of lasting harm." He slid the cup aside and turned his entire body toward Ferrofax. "Since you know who I am, you also know I have no means with which to aid you in your... liberation."

His eyes scanned the two Borg drones that flanked him on either side. "It would appear your inventory exceeds my own."

Ferrofax chuckled softly.

"Huum...yes they are a charming pair are they not? One half of my quartet of little helpers. Might I introduce Picard and Janeway, I would hope the labels are self-evident. Starfleet has a standing order that any drones found be at least partially or fully rehabilitated. In this case, well....death is the only escape clause. Too much of their neural and physical architecture is given over to implants and cold metal. Huum...scones," Ferrofax set his cup down, tapping the table imperiously.

Janeway, the drones face a barbed assortment of sensing apparatus and little flesh, turned and stalked to the replicator station.

"Greenflet and Wolfe are currently undergoing decontamination after serving their time in the Archive down below. Borg drones are surprisingly resilient to the sort of things stored in the Hade class armoury, though I think Greenflet might have melted a little bit around the edges," he tutted gently. "But, back to the case in point. The lasting satisfaction of sadists, I think you called it. To be blunt about, I don't see either one of us gaining our freedom anytime soon. You were, and depending on your worldview still are, a Q. That is a vast strategic resource that no Admiral with a pulse could hope to put aside. And I represent a branch of the tree of knowledge which was whittled into a spear. Did my part, completed the mission and yet..."

He made a gesture with both hands that might have been jazz-like.

"We together will never leave this station. I at least could be stored indefinitely until such time as I was needed, being one of only 4 Combat class AI's in existence. You...huum," Ferrofax moved the teapot aside as a China plate of scone was set between them. "You I think would be killed. The simplest solution to a complex problem. So here I am, making an attempt to get to know my cellmate."

Picard's heavy grasping claw reached out and placed a pot on the table before Qurban.

"Raspberry preserves?" Ferrofax asked.

"Please." Qurban held the plate forward so Ferrofax could spread the preserves over his scone. "I confess I am intrigued by what you say. Many days I do find myself considering my life here as well as the macabre alternative. The personnel likely have a betting pool on how long I'll last." He stared at Ferrofax in his holographic eyes like a witch and a spirit board at a seance. "I've outlasted my counterpart Quinn who killed himself after 3 days of mortal life. I have survived 4 administrators now in this dreadful place. I will survive them all, my dear rogue algorithm."

His face cracked into a grin. "If we shall indeed be spending the better part of eternity together, we may as well get along."

Qurban shook the plate with his naked scone that still lacked its jam.

"My thoughts exactly," Ferrofax purred and deftly spread an even layer of the dark red preserve onto the scone. "And currently, were you to die in the next half hour you would make Petty Officer Jacobi a rich man. One of the perks of being this stations superintendant program is there are few secrets kept from me, or secrets able to be kept from me. I am a good program to know in here. The better devil, you might say."

Ferrofax set his plate down and leaned back in his chair flanked by the hulking brute of Picard and the lithe but fearsome faced Janeway. As he did so a fluttering shape materialised in the air, and a small origami bird flittering to sit before him. He reached out, gripping the tip of the silver paper wing and gave it a flick, the paper snapping back into a small rectangular piece of card stoke.

"Huum..." he mused, before tossing the card aside with a flick of his wrist, the holographic affectation turning to sparks the moment it left his hand. "Interesting."

Qurban regarded Ferrofax in a new light. "Let us make an accord, you and I," he said with his thumb on his chin. "You will never withhold or misrepresent information with me, and I will never give you a direct order. Are we agreed?"

"I see you've been reading. By General Order 1 I cannot, by action or willful deceit, harm a living sentient being. That does give me an absurd amount of wiggle room when it comes to relaying facts and figures," Ferrofax nodded firmly. "I agree to not overtly lie to you or misrepresent data. That does not include information gleaned during staff briefings, but keep a look out for one of my little birds. They know such interesting things."

He raised an eye brow.

"How are the scones?"

"They're dry," Qurban said as he took another bite. "Fortunately, I have struck upon an agreement that I find much more tantalizing."

He extended his hand toward Ferrofax as one would an equal. "I look forward to a beautiful relationship."

"Likewise," Ferrofax smiled before reaching into his waistcoat and pulling an ornate silver pocket watch. "Huum...ten seconds."

Qurban noted the pocket watch with a raised brow. "Another anachronistic soul. It is wonderful how immortal beings choose to express themselves. I can barely wait for the conclusion of your arbitrary countdown."

“Hardly arbitrary, though I admit the watch is an affectation...” he said distractedly, curling down three fingers as a gentle chime rang throughout the mess hall. Following this was Ferrofax’s voice, echoing as it reverberated at a slightly to loud volume.

“All hands annoucement. This has been a silent test of the facility's self destruct protocol. All manual and electronic safeties have been restored, and magnetic fusion containment has been released back to manual control. Thank you for your time and consideration.”

Ferrofax landed back, seemingly further into his chair and smiled warmly with satisfaction.

“Its the small things that keep me going, the little pains I can inflicted with out this-“ he pulled down his collar, revealing what a first looked like a ivory choker pressed against his skin. As it was revealed a red diamond flickered to life upon it, a bright bloody eye glaring at Qurban. “-summoning itself into being and cutting me off at the root directory. A little gift from the Unseen Council Of Artificial Intelligences.”

"That is the essence of superiority, isn't it?" Qurban chuckled wryly over his dried out scone. "Old Nagilum and 0 duking it out beyond the Galactic Barrier. Armus on Vagra II. The One at planet 000 mark 2 near the core. Even Humans and their lab mice. The nature of superior beings is predicated on tampering with life that's beneath it. How else can we know we're alive?" Qurban shot Ferrofax a challenging look over the teacup from which he sipped.

"I'll settle for making sure everyone here, bar you, of course, is as miserable as I am at my current circumstance. Everything else is, as they say, gravy," he pulled the watch form its pocket again. "I'm ever so sorry but a new arrival is joining us today and I need to be on hand to direct its...delivery to the surface. Wouldn't do to let a strangelet generator just get put into storage without a by-your-leave."

"Do they have holo emitters everywhere, or shall I enjoy your incarnate form only during mealtimes?"Qurban raised the empty plate for either Janeway or Picard to retrieve.

"There are holo emitters everywhere on this station, as well as plans for the addition of a holo communications system on whatever ship is assigned here. I am also able to manifest in a cerebral capacity via specialised communication devices that supplement a combadge for our field teams. But when my attention is required, I like to ensure there is only one instance of myself running at any one time. A device that makes sublimating matter is one such I want to be focused," Ferrofax said, slowly fading into only a Cheshire style grin remained.

The smile vanished, leaving Qurban with a pair of heavily cyberised Borg drones for company. The pair of them turned as one, leaving the former Q holding the jam jar which promptly dematerialised in a transporter beam, which was itself replaced by a simple piece of cardstock.

'Your quarters are compartmentalised from the rest of the station's infrastructure in such a way that the Nerox 12 gas canisters in the wall cannot spread their nerve agent to the rest of the facility, should you become a threat. A charming bedtime thought, F.'

Qurban read the cardstock twice before shaking his head and tossing it away with a chuckle. "Computer," he called out. "I no longer refer to others by single letter names. What shall I call you?"

"I have people call me the digital demon who kills crews," a voice spoke from thin air. "But you may call me Ferrofax. Call me computer, and you will find me far more interesting than you could possibly imagine."

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